Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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