4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
420 ftw
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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