I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
