Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
