so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
