i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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