Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my phone needs a breathalizer
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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