can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
