I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
