I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize