all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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