she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
