Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize