If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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