i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it's great music for shaving your balls
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
