mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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