Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
