i think my tv is drunk
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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