dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
