Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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