Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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