you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
