saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
