Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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