You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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