what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
