her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
