So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
