I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
