8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
