On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
