please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
