You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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