I just made out with a guy for $7.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
