used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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