i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
