If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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