there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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