You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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