im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
