Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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