haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
