but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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