there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
