dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
