She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
