The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
