I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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