I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
