Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
