So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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