No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
