He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
