my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
