i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
