So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
